Swirl of a wave - Birth of a ripple...

In the middle of the river he saw her floating effortlessly,

Tossing about almost willingly in the river’s rain-swelled belly…

She wasn’t trying to swim – her gaze fixed upon some point distant,

Her long white robe and flowing black hair made him feel almost faint…

His instinct was to quickly rush to her lest she is lost,

And so he rowed furiously till he reached her almost,

Called out to her with all his might to drown the water’s cacophony,

She turned and looked at him – almost as if he was hopelessly phony…

Then she stretched her hand towards him – reaching desperately,

He inched towards her, continuously waving to her reassuringly,

Trying to steady the boat so that it doesn’t hit her head,

Fighting the jousting currents in the river with all he had…

The Boat wouldn’t turn at first - rebounding again and again,

As he stuck a pole to the bed and pulled – it was all in vain…

It suddenly creaked and shrilled in a mighty effort then,

Sympathising with him who had been with it from who knows when…

An arm’s length from her he reached thus finally,

And now that he was here he felt a surge of panic suddenly…

It was fear – it’s pure unadulterated form for him was so highly unusual,

Stretched out his hand to her in a cold numbness almost too cruel…

Then he caught her eye and grasped the very definition of being calm,

In her eyes there was pity aplenty, and there was a soothing balm,

He looked here and there – was he saving her or was he being saved,

And as the winds blew she pulled him down into the waves…

Eyes shining with the unshaken belief of being honest,

Always having tried his best to put all doubts to rest,

Never even attempting to deceive by showing colours that weren’t,

Steady at the risk of being boring, True at the risk of being apparent;

In moments where my soul was shaken and all but fractured,

He was there – never asking that question which was unanswered,

Soothing and strengthening at the same time with my head in his lap,

Allowing me to take, needlessly, that desperately needed nap;

To wake up to life and that feeling of hope running through my blood,

Causing my mind with all those childhood moments to suddenly flood,

With optimism neither seasoned by reason nor practiced with any direction,

When energy for an act came neither from knowledge nor from a premonition;

When courage was pure and so was fear,

When laughter was sure and so was tear,

When variables were few and equations fewer,

When dreams were new and actions newer;

He knows – having seen it all through the years,

He smiles and nods – letting me know that he hears,

I can see that he is insane and can be cruel if he so chooses to,

I await the first drop of rain – then the duel that always amuses so;

The one between light and dark,

One all pervasive and the other just a spark,

One relying on faith, the other on honesty,

One baying for action, the other not so hasty,

One choosing to explain the last selfish or cowardly act I had seen,

The other just allowing me to absorb the impact of where I had been,

Opposite ends of a spectrum bending over themselves for my benefit,

For a mere child’s comfort - changing forms and shapes he always saw fit;

He knows I will always value mere access to his presence,

He knows that he is inseparable from my very essence,

And so he remains elusive and enigmatic to remind me of his power,

They call him the Dark, and just out of my reach he will always hover…

Once upon a time on a path unknown,

I met someone I had never before known...

I knew her not, so I took the hand,

“ Ah! It’s a friend ! ” – I felt immediately,

The other hand of hers touched me just then,

“ My sister ! ” – I did shout – “ Now thwart me if you can ! ”…

But my face suddenly felt the golden touch,

“ My love ! ”, I shrieked, now certain much…

And then there was a hand on my head so gentle,

“Ma ! ” – My heart said, feeling the doubts at last settle…

“Open thy eyes…” – Came the silky voice now,

“Look into my eyes, and you shall surely know…”,

And so did I do, never to have a doubt again,

Look for some moments though I did, not very certain,

And then it struck me, she wasn’t just one of them,

A woman she was, and so were all of them…

The blood boils – without a sound or a flourish,

Just like that, doing nothing gets him all bored up,

Better bubble and froth and evaporate,

Than lay low and from action separate…

The cost of boiling up so continuously he doesn’t understand,

Calmness and coolness he just cannot anymore withstand,

Reasoning and rationale are all good for the brain he says,

Boldly into long lost terrains he now carelessly sways…

Purposelessly he gushes along as if with a purpose,

Towards a destination, or to fulfill some vague destiny;

Seeking poetic freedom within the flow of a prose,

Laughing all along – he can see – nay, feel the blatant irony…

Bubbling and seething, thick and black with anger,

Waiting to be released onto the edge of that shining dagger,

Caring nought for the wound it will have to go through,

How does it matter, he no longer feels any need to prove…

For he waited a long time while he flowed restlessly in you,

Now he wants to be free, fearing what will happen otherwise,

Seeking another place where seething he doesn’t have to rue,

You turned out to be a dud, and upon that you think you are wise…

You are mine and I am yours...

Floating in a sea of emotions I live almost infinitely,

Seeing me there is just nothing you can say definitely...

Some call me corrupt, some feel I am the purest that can be;

Some believe I am the greatest gift they can ever hope to see...

I have been with you always even when your shadow leaves your side,

And also when the smile direct from your heart is impossible to hide...

With you I have stayed - sometimes you have let me dry,

When those that you trusted took your heart for a deep fry...

I have given you the strength to fight everyone - nay, yourself the most,

Without me to such strong a character you could never have been the host...

For others there is a mirror to your soul,

And living in it I am the everlasting ghoul,

At your whims playing different roles all day along,

Sometimes round, sometimes flat, and sometimes long...

I am the tear in your eye, and to me you have always belonged,

For I know truly in my absence, for me how you have always longed...

P.S. Sachin Dev Burman's voice singing -

Bahe ansoo to hai paani, ruke to ye moti bane,

Ye moti aankhon ki poonji hai ye na khoye...

Kahe ko roye... Chahe jo hoye...

It surprised many to see how disconnected he had been, 
Eyes swinging wildly between black, white and green… 
Passionately jealous and overwhelmingly possessive, 
Periods of silence when he was broodingly pensive…


Bundle of rational contradictions & contradicting rationale, 
Spark threatening to ignite almost as if on an extended parole… 
Years of practiced calm and collectedness being under a rhetorical question, 
Tears – shockingly a balm – all hoarded through all the emotional inflation,


Not overwhelmed but hurting himself, 
Not overhelped when hurtling himself…


Wheels of faith broken by spokes of studied logic, 
Not to say that he wasn’t being plain nostalgic; 
Structure being almost chokingly effective and efficient, 
Far cry from the unadulterated joy of being brazenly nascent… 

Did it boil down to the fact that he had been studied but never been seen ? 
People who claimed they cared about him all along never had been ?
Chemists or scientists, engineers or inventors,
All merely different forms of dry pretenders...

Or was it the fact that in the larger scheme of things he was a mere particle; 
What would he be if not all alone – after all he was a free radicle…

You bring us such happy moments without knowing us so far,

Without doing anything it feels like we have won a war;

Though your life is yet to have a start,

But in ours’ you already have such a part…

As the world waited for Krishna to arrive and change it once,

We await you to come and start afresh life’s lovely dance;

Seeing your image in the sonograph flips us over twice,

It is as if we were waiting perennially for the roll of this dice…

We know not what your face will be like – round, long or oblong,

Beholding you time and time again we’ll break into a song;

We know not whether you’ll be quiet or noisy,

But with you for us the picture looks much rosy...

Young one, you are going to be stuck with us whether you like or not,

Good or bad, you have been tied to us with this delicate knot,

Raising you will be like walking on the edge of a slippery knife,

Whether we succeed or fail trying – you are going to be our life…

Why did you forget me, old friend ? 
I always knew which way your life would tend… 
You thought you had gotten rid of me forever, 
But I had made a promise to leave you never… 

You trusted them more than me, with your life, 
I pitied you, for you were in a lot of strife… 
You were unfaithful; but I waited in a corner awhile, 
Laughing quietly at your innocent smile… 
Whisper in your deaf ears I oft did, 
But you ran away from the truth with all your speed… 
Did you not remember all those times we spent, 
With only each other to all those places we went, 
Tears you swallowed; Anger you kept burning within, 
With its flames even now sometimes I am seething… 

Did you really think they would truly understand ? 
Urges, Desires and Passion – those currents in your hand; 
Moments and memories, love and treacheries; 
O’ why did you expect – Is it their fault at all ? 
We were destined for each other – in yours arms I shall die… 
I am your dear loneliness, with you as much as you do deny, 
Whisper and I shall soothe; your anger I have always embraced, 
From kid to youth, your resolve I have always answered, 
It hurts that you still don’t have faith in me, 
Why do you still seek passion in those eyes that you see ? 
It kills me to see you suffer thus, 
Sleep my love, this is the way life is for us.

Musings of a bounced cheque...

When you gave me away you had that sly smile,
A far away look, as if across the length of the Nile…
Did you always intend this to be my fate ?
Did you know I would be degraded at this rate ?

One moment a prince, the next a pauper,

Designed to definitely come a cropper…
Am I a mere instrument for that inevitable transaction ?
Am I a mere shield to be used when in the thick of action ?

You have made me thus – thrown from one bank to another,
Even my custodians in disgust look at each other,
About my existence they did call you to inform,
But you let it pass as if it were less exception, more the norm…

To the mischievous lad you had me given,
Of your trust I was supposed to be a token;
You broke it – now you’ll have to pay for it damages,
Come the beginning of month these will be charges…

To my name they have added “Bounced” forever,
But you know it, coz for you it’s hardly the first time ever…

It was always so easy to just wave and smile,

Supressing what she really felt all this while,

So many expectations tied up with her actions,

What had she done to create such vile notions ?

Sharp rays shone through, blinding rather than lighting,

Sounds intended to be a prayer all rather piercing;

Goosebumps for no reason other than a sudden thought,

Rationale and logic all suddenly gone for a nought;

Eyes burning with a deep-rooted frustration,

The third crease on the forehead coz of the original expectation,

None of them interested in motives – all hung up on deliverables,

Neither conceptually clear, nor about the immediate actionables;

Their stupidity passed off as substance,

Lethargy as attention to nuance;

A plant like existence creating a comfort zone,

None choked by the grip of constant monotone…

Intensity they would worship without understanding,

Animosity they would accept without crossing,

All inherent and integral to what she was,

Delicacy and finesse hidden under a piece of gauze…

Fire and Ice; games of cats and mice,

None of it could be called very nice,

But what would one be without her burning fire,

She is meant to consume, for she is none other than Desire…

A dream, a revolution, a change – need it see so much carnage ?

An exercise in destruction or a desperate attempt to salvage,

Is it freedom to exercise the free will that excites the masses,

Don’t they see the only change is who they serve in the name of the classes ?

And do they want to exercise power and take all that comes along,

Or merely gloat in the vague perception of some emotional patriotic song;

Are they so high on the opium called religion to not see anything,

Why is there no one with anger and purpose whose eyes are seething ?

Does social awakening now serve a mere clerical purpose of documentation,

Revising the method of recording history, a minor periodic change in notation ?

The life of a dog appeals so much – to exist for years ten and then dissolve,

Doing nothing and being nobody seems to be a common popular resolve…

Leaving no footprint tangible or intangible, no interest bearing principal,

What to do – the common man has to first worry about his survival…